Things both George Washington and Sir Mix-A-Lot Can’t Do:

Lie

Check out this clip to see multiple Comedy Studies people…studying. You’ll also see a rehearsal where Bobby, Alex, Shannon, and I perform our hit sketch: “Grandpa”

http://online.wsj.com/video/cornering-the-market-on-comedy/522D2604-8CF1-4DB5-9E76-35C406C54487.html

I invented a drinking game at a party last night. Throughout the evening, it went through various different names. It was, at one point or another, called: Safe or Fuck, Paper or Fuck, and Safe Sex. These names are misleading, because, really, the game is based on the Prisoner’s Dilemma. Now, also, I’m changing the rules a bit because as I read more about the Prisoner’s Dilemma, I realize I got it wrong a bit when we played. So, here’s how it works:

Everyone sits in a circle with a drink. One person starts and challenges another person. They go (as we were playing,) “Paper or fuck.” As they say that, they’re hitting their hand on their first a la Rock Paper Scissors. On “fuck” they throw either a flat palm (the paper from Rock Paper Scissors) or the middle finger. If both people throw the middle finger, they each have to drink for 5 seconds. If one person throws the middle finger, and the other throws the paper, the person who threw the paper has to drink for 10 seconds. If they both throw palm, they get to jointly choose someone else in the circle, and make them drink for 10 seconds. After that, the person who gets to challenge simply moves clockwise around the circle.

This game is fun for the following reasons:

1. It gets people drunk

2. It’s so much fun to see who will screw over who

So, spread and enjoy!

Luke and I wrote an article for McSweeney’s. Here it is, in all it’s glory.

It is entitled:

NORTH KOREA’S MOST CONTROVERSIAL STANDUP COMIC PERFORMS AT
THE PEOPLE’S SHACK
OF LAFFS.

So, that regular posting idea didn’t really come to fruition. To be fair, I did write one post that, mysteriously, was never added, and then wasn’t saved…so, that’s got to count for something. Also, I’ve been doing great with 3 Jokes a Day so at least I can be consistent on one blog.

Comedy Studies has started to resemble real school over the past few days. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still infinitely cooler than “fancy book learning” (imagine a class where you spend your time watching SCTV and a full episode of Monty Python. Now, take it out of your imagination, because it actually happened.) But, it’s been getting real in that we’ve had a lot of stuff due lately.

Bobby and I pitched our sitcom, which ended up being about an inept team in an adult kickball league. The name of the show: Kick it! It had somewhat of a “Community” vibe, with just a dash of “30 Rock” in the use of cutaway jokes.

We had 3-5 minutes of stand-up due in class today, and I performed it with gusto. Actually, this was the first I performed since I was at the Comedy Studio in February…which was a little unnerving if only because that set didn’t do so well. Also, this set was all new material. It was all about my general dislike of Katy, and Evangelical Christianity. So, needless to say, I really want to perform it back home…mainly because there is a perverse joy in pissing people off over jokes.

Tomorrow for Context for Comedy, I have my final project due. Essentially, I’ll be explaining a viral media/alternate reality treasure hunt I created and had the group participate in. There’ll also be a bonus little viral bit, but I won’t reveal it, just in case one of the 3 people that reads this blog is in the audience tomorrow.

We’ve also started pitching/reworking sketches for the final revue. We also picked the show’s title. That’ll be a secret as well, but, I will say that I’m very happy with it.

Finally, after Thanksgiving, we have a 22 minute Weekend Update/Daily Show style news satire show due. I’m one of the 3 showrunners for it, so I’m quite excited. Also adding to the excitement is that a former writer for Weekend Update will be critiquing it.

With all of this in mind, I’m definitely ready for Thanksgiving break. I need some time to decompress and recharge so I can go balls to the wall for the last two-odd weeks and really nail the revue. The whole semester has been leading up to this, so I want to be fully energized.

Oh, also, a couple of weeks ago, I went to a jazz club once owned by Al Capone. True fact.

I really need to get back to regular posting. Things have quieted down a bit, so that should leave me more time to update people on happenings and what not. I remember when I first started this blog, I thought to myself, “I’m not going to become one of those guys that blogs regularly for a while, and then stops.” That kind of happened, but no more! I’m back, with a vengence.

It’s been a while, so I’m not going to post everything that’s happened this past week and a half. Rather, I’ll share with you some random thoughts I’ve had during that time. Consider it an all-access pass to my brain, except it’s not like that at all.

-There’s someone on my floor that listens to opera music at night. Based off the movies I’ve watched, I’m going to assume that he’s an extremely intelligent and polite serial killer.

-I bought all of Planet Earth on Ebay for 20 dollars. No matter what I do with my money in life, that purchase will be the smartest investment I’ve ever made.

-I saw Improvised Shakespeare on Friday. Mind=blown.

-A quote from improv class where we were learning about subtext, “Oh, you weren’t being a bitch. You were just ovulating!”

-Doing an improvised musical about a teacher that doesn’t like your class very much is both fun and cathartic.

-I met Sheldon Patinkin this week. He’s like a comedy sage, but without a beard or staff.

-We had what was probably the last rooftop party of the year thanks to teh weather being surprisingly nice.

-I watched the V pilot today. I thought it was good, not great. The beginning reminded me too much of Independence Day, which made it all the better when one character straight up said that the moment where the aliens arrived reminded him of Independence Day.

-Glenn Beck is everything that’s wrong with America.

So, I promise, more frequent posts. Really. I swear.

Clearly, there hasn’t been much updating in a while. That’s not to say interesting things haven’t been happening here. Far from it. We’re kind of in the middle of what I guess could be called “midterms”, so that, and Halloween, have been taking up most of my time. After class today, I’ll get back on track. In the mean time, here are a bunch of people with bee beards.

25 Pictures of People with Bee Beards

I went to the Armando Diaz show tonight at iO (as is quickly becoming a Monday night tradition.)

Dan Bakkedahl did the monologue. For those of you not super-in-the-know (lame-o’s) he’s the guy on the left.

Dude’s got some amazing stories.

I’ve really got to get back into updating this thing regularly. If I can update 3 Jokes a Day regularly, I should be able to do it here as well.

I’m watching pre-game football right now, and Frank Calliendo is doing a bit. He has somehow parlayed his success as pretending to be John Madden to doing things as a football analyst. He’s literally making predictions in the middle of his act. This would be like Dana Carvey being asked to guest host Joel Osteen’s show because he played the Church Lady so well.

Class went very well on Thursday. We read our sketches in writing class and everyone’s was really funny. I don’t know if we just had a good week or something, or if the structure (3/4 person scenes) was amenable to us. Seeing as we’re going into process for the show sooner, rather than later. My sketch was about a boat captain that tries to marry a couple on a boat because the woman realizes he can, and becomes very excited about the prospect of doing so. Oh but then, there’s the midpoint, and there’s a surprise. I don’t want to ruin it, but there’s a twist, and alliances shift. Shocker! Not in plot, but in literal character descriptions, it reminds me a lot of the sketch Gilad and I wrote about the passive aggressive couple on the Titanic. We pitched it twice and it got close, but never really in the show. It’s our “To Catch a Trunker.” About 8 people will get that joke…assuming there are more than 8 people who read this blog.

That night, we went to Messing with a Friend. That night, the friend was T.J. I had never seen Susan Messing perform, so I was very excited about that. She did great, and T.J. did great. I’ve got to say, I’m so consistently amazing impressed by him. I’m not consistently, “Yeah he was funny”, I’m consistently, “Wow, he’s the best at this.” But, the show was a lot of fun. It was montage style and they both brought up some great characters. They played off each other very well, and from what I understand, that’s something of par for the course for Messing.

On Friday we had the Second City Talent Director come and talk to us. We essentially got an insider’s look at the audition and casting process. I won’t lie, it’s very sobering. It’s nothing short of tough to make it to the TourCo, let alone the e.t.c or Mainstage. But, at the same time, we learned some comforting stuff, mainly: Don’t expect to have some kind of pre-determined plan or path. That is to say, just because one performer did 2 years here, 3 years there, and then made it big, doesn’t mean you will as well. I won’t lie, my first knowledge of Second City came from learning about how people made it to SNL, and I viewed it as a path. What I took is that if you’re funny, you’ll do well, and you’ll do it in your own way. We had our weekly Friday afternoon improv after that. My favorite scene was the rookie cop scene where 3 of us were inspecting a mass grave, and hedging everything we said by, “I’m just a rookie cop.” Sam came in to check up on us, and we continued the hedging. The scene ended with Sam going, “Whoa whoa whoa…you guys are rookies? When were you going to tell me that?” I broke. It was so funny. I don’t know if it comes across in text, but in real life, I just lost it.

That night we played Settlers of Catan. If I want to stay friends with people, I really shouldn’t play that game. I play to win the game. I go big or go home. Things like that. That game is so strategic though, and so dependent on aggressive tactics that I just kind of go into a different world…a world where I drink a lot of beer, and become very vengeful in-game. We went to Marlena’s for a bit after that, and then, after enduring a train ride home full of Jake trying to convince me to go to some random party at 2 in the morning, I got back to my apartment.

I lazed around a lot on Sat. morning. It was some really solid lazing. Like, “take your bedpants out of the laundry because you don’t have anything to wear around the apartment” solid. I did some exploring in the Fullerton/Belmont areas, mainly so I could go to this thrift store in hopes of finding a Halloween costume. I’m between Charlie from It’s Always Sunny, and Wheeler from Captain Planet. I think I’ll make the final decision tonight. That night, we went to see Zombieland. I’ve got to tell ya, that is one damn entertaining movie. It’s also shot really well too. And, and this is the big one, it has the best cameo ever. I know that’s a tall order, but if you haven’t seen it, you can’t really grasp how amazing it is. After the movie, some Mr. Show was watched, and then I went home. So much comedy!

There will be a full update later today, but in the meantime, I have 2 things for you:

1. At the T.J. and Dave show last night, the 2 main characters were, for all intents and purposes my parents. This was complete with a love of Proseco, not wanting to go to a restaurant because there isn’t a line outside—thus meaning it can’t be good, and doing random people watching/gossip at the table. It was uncanny.

2. New Institute! Great job everyone! My favorite line, “…James Monroe, who was generally considered one of our first white presidents…”